Ekselent
nuvs!!

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be
the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the
other possibility. As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded
that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year
phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English". In the first
year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped
in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan
have one less letter. There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond
year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".
This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter. In the 3rd year, publik
akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of
double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al
wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is
disgrasful and it should go away. By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to
steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w"
with "v". During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd
from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil
sensi bl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find
it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru. Und
efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst
plas. If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl.